I have been working on a session about Emotional Intelligence school board members and superintendents. The more I have studied it, the more I have thought about how closely some of its principles connect to our lives as Christians.
Two important parts of emotional intelligence are self-awareness and social awareness.
Self-awareness is the ability to recognize what is happening within us; our emotions, reactions, strengths, weaknesses, and even the things that trigger us.
As Christians, though, self-awareness goes a little deeper. It isn’t simply asking, “How am I feeling?” It is also being willing to ask, “Lord, what is happening in my heart?”
David prayed, “Search me, O God, and know my heart.” That is a courageous prayer because sometimes God shows us things we would rather not see. Maybe I am not simply frustrated. Maybe pride is involved. Maybe I am not simply defending my position. Maybe I am unwilling to listen. Maybe the problem isn’t entirely the other person. Maybe there is something God wants to change in me.
Christian self-awareness requires humility. It means being willing to let God show us not only what we are doing, but why we are doing it.
But emotional intelligence doesn’t stop with understanding ourselves. It also involves social awareness which is recognizing what others may be feeling or experiencing.
That sounds a lot like something Jesus consistently demonstrated. Jesus noticed people. He noticed the person others overlooked. He recognized hurt they were feeling. He showed compassion. He listened. He understood that sometimes there was much more happening in someone’s heart than what could be seen on the surface.
And He calls us to do the same.
Philippians 2:4 tells us:
“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Sometimes we become so focused on what we think, what we need, or how we have been affected that we forget to consider what someone else may be carrying.
Perhaps one of the most Christlike things we can do is become more aware. Aware of what is happening within us and aware of what may be happening around us.
Before I react, can I examine my own heart?
Before I judge, can I consider what the other person might be experiencing?
Before I speak, can I ask whether my words will reflect Christ?
Emotional intelligence may be a modern term, but the principles behind it are deeply connected to an ancient calling:
Know your heart.
Guard your reactions. Listen well. Notice people. Show compassion. Love others.
And perhaps our prayer this week can simply be: Lord, help me see myself clearly, see others compassionately, and respond in a way that looks more like You.
Shine, Shine, Shine!